Sunday, January 8, 2012

Deleting your social media account may be the most difficult breakup you’ll ever have. Networks try various techniques to get you to stay, and they often leave you wondering if it’s you and not them. Let’s take a look at some of these clever little tricks that make it hard to delete your social profiles.

1. Twitter: "You don't know what you're missing."

If you choose to ignore your Twitter account, you'll receive an email within a few weeks saying, "We've missed you!" More than that, Twitter lists everything you're missing out on, from the latest news to plain happiness.

2. Facebook: "What did I do wrong?"

It may be easy to deactivate your Facebook account, but it's a pain to figure out how to permanently delete it. Whichever option you choose, Facebook essentially makes you fill out a questionnaire to explain why you're leaving. And that's before it lists specific friends who "will miss you."

3. MySpace: "I can change."

Like Facebook, MySpace wants to know why you're moving on to bigger and better things, but it also tries to bargain with you. When you choose a reason, like "Bored" or "Spam," MySpace offers new ways to keep you happy.

4. Tumblr: "I hope we can still be friends."

Tumblr is pretty civil when you decide to leave. Alongside an anguished robot, the network gives you the option to contact the staff if you want to talk, and there's a standing offer to start things up again at any time.

5. Google+: "Think about what you're giving up."

Google+ plays it cool. It's pretty simple to delete your G+ content or even your entire Google profile, but first expect a comprehensive list of everything you're giving up: Circles, +1s and the like. It makes it clear that this process can't be undone, so don't expect a reconciliation.

6. LinkedIn: "Let's work on this."

How appropriate. When you give a reason for closing your account, LinkedIn gives you tips on how you can make your experience better, like building your professional network to get more value from it.

7. deviantART: "You're breaking my heart." 
This artist network tugs at the heartstrings. DeviantART's demon mascot, known to run around and smile mischievously, cries devil-sized tears when you try to delete your account. An unhappy face accompanies each item on a list of everything you're giving up. Get the hint?

8. YouTube: "Remember all the good times we had."

YouTube wants to make sure you're making the right decision to erase memories with a reminder that all videos, comments and your username will be deleted forever.

 9. Klout: "You're nothing without me."

OK, maybe not exactly. But Klout does say that everyone has a certain amount of influence, and its "mission is to help you understand that influence and use it to make your life better." So, delete Klout and you might miss out on a better life. Bold.

10. Orkut: "Leave a message at the tone."

Orkut, owned by Google, is extremely popular in India and Brazil. At the time of this post, you receive an error message when you try to delete your account. That's what you get for trying to break up long-distance.